When my beloved and I first became sweethearts nearly a half-century ago, our only piece of art was a poster of hers that read:
A friend is someone
who leaves you with all your freedom intact,
but who, by what he thinks of you,
obliges you to be fully what you are.
~ J. L’Heureux.
Learning to live that definition grounded our 45 years together. And still does as I approach the second anniversary of her exit from this incarnation. I’m always aware of her take on the choices I’m making––a take that includes a generous tolerance and even amusement of my, shall we say, idiosyncrasies.
Of course no one can have too many friends. Just as no one can have too many healthy parents: people who remind us that, as Mother Teresa says, we belong to one other.
Among mine is a fellow crackpot who is a poet one month a year. No kidding. Free of pretension of being in league with, say, Billy Collins and Mary Oliver, my friend leaps into a few weeks of Buddhist seclusion and inks up a storm. The other day he gifted me a selection from his most recent sojourn. A verse about a couple of his pals––another guy named Steve, and me:
One Day at a Time –– Two Steves
Steves R and W, my alcoholic friends,
attend AA and practice meditation;
curiously parallel activities
they make for an interesting combination.
Alcoholics learn to live,
“one day at a time” without drink;
meditators try the same,
one day at a time, without think.
The substance abuse that plagues us all,
is thought;
we think too much, all of us,
hence our lives are fraught.
Let go of thoughts of past or future,
the Now is truly the prize;
breath in and out, live the present moment,
try not to analyze.
AA and meditation practice
help to strengthen the deeper soul,
May both Steves’ souls be blessed,
as they journey towards their goal.
I’m reminded of an image I once stole from Ring Lardner––as my heart grins a grin you could pour on a waffle.