On Facebook, in response to the story of one more inhumane acton by some soulless politician, a Facebook friend posted a single word: “ENOUGH!”
What do you suppose my friend really meant? What was the message? I think she was saying: “In this moment, I’m not able to free the magnitude of pain I feel. I just want it to go away.”
This reminds me of something the late Jesuit psychologist, Anthony deMello, said: “People don’t really want to be cured. What they want is relief; a cure is painful.”
Saying “ENOUGH!” is seeking relief. If one were seeking a cure, one might say: “I want to be able to grow big enough to manage whatever pain comes my way.”
To do that is challenging, because it demands that we give up our attachment to a lot of stuff: beliefs, preferences, habits, you name it.
When I was 23, I changed my name. I was claiming my independence. As a result, my mother wrote me a letter saying that I was dead to her and my father and would never again be welcome in their home. That was her way of saying ENOUGH! but really meaning, “I just don’t know how to manage the pain I feel.”
I subsequently moved back to my home town for a couple of years just to heal that relationship. That, some 30 years later, my mom died peacefully in my embrace is a testament to the fact that all of us are so much more than “ENOUGH!”
It can just take us a while to know it. Or, rather, to choose it.
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Sharing my discoveries and welcoming yours is the purpose of this little playground. I hope you’ll add your voice when it feels right.
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