There are two reasons, I suspect, why I keep a distance from the world in almost whatever form it appears. Well, other than the offerings of saints, nature, art, fellow travelers who know they’re on the inner road to everywhere, and anyone standing in front of me I can serve in the moment.
One, I aspire to think only of God, and my ability to do so leaves much to be desired without a lot of solitude.
Two, the infection of ego sensibilities that ground the reality of most of us, including myself amusingly enough, is a sort of psychological Covid that’s been around forever it seems. It is a communicable global illness that spans generations and is born of the delusion that fitting into society provides more security than following our heart.
Our collective focus on engagement with the world overshadows growing our capacity for kindness, compassion and that especially gnarly and rewarding of adventures, self-understanding. Our answers to essential questions such as who am I, what is the purpose of life, and how does does the universe work?—remain too fragile to foster a peaceful heart in the face of anything. It is a factor that undermines feeling the joy of spiritual awakening inherent in every moment.
On my better days, it’s easy for me to cherish all who cross my path. I don’t have to admire a single thing they think or feel or do in order to honor their True Self: manifestation of God, ever evolving Oneness. I will serve anyone on Earth (and elsewhere should that materialize) in any way I possibly can in the spirit of unconditional love that I find to be the essence of existence.
At the same time, in recognition of my own frailties at this point in my soul’s flight to freedom, often I feel obliged to distance myself from energetic forces that, to me, embody smallness or denseness rather than limitless expansion. Simplistically, this means the world at large.
This is why my engagement with others can be circumspect. To have an opinion about anything that is not rooted in the premise that every moment is an opportunity to grow love is a phenomenon I keep a healthful distance from in my efforts to train my mind to see the sacredness of everything. It’s hard enough keeping my distance from it in my own consciousness, with its abundance of questionable habits.
And then there’s what may be the deadliest of human addictions: holding others or some event responsible for how we feel, a dysfunction easily exacerbated by all but the rarest of interactions with the worldly-world.
So while I love the entire phantasmagoria of humanity, I engage in respectful self-care. Not in response to others, per se, whom I find sacred to a person, but from certain beliefs or points of view. In essence, from the commonly-held delusion that we are human rather than a soul, and that our human adventures are something other than spiritual school that leads us to the realization of our True Self.
This is why I crave distance and aloneness in whatever form circumstance allows. It strengthens my ability to be useful to the world, and nurtures my attunement to that supreme celebration of existence that is the reason we’re all here so far as I can tell.
every moment is an opportunity to grow love.
This is one big fat permission slip to do just what it says, be with God.
Oh what I leap I took from your precious writing and sharing.
I must say divine timing for me. Thank you Steve for being the Spirit that you are and including us in your service.
Steve, we have known each other for 30 years, using Yogananda’s centennial celebration as the relative beginning. What you describe might be compared to the Buddhist notion of Relative and Absolute realities. The relative being conditioned, and the absolute not, Always Awakening. Every stanza of this brilliantly crafted prayer screams with depth, heartbreak, compassion and joy at the ecstasy one discovers when the light of the absolute reveals our true nature, never to be captured or described by the COVID-Relative. I celebrate each reflection you share. Let’s connect soon in our hermit caring. MM