Among the thousands of stones that have surfaced on the land I tend. I have relatives who are Chinese. Years ago I asked one of them why was it, did he suppose, that the eyes of Chinese people are shaped as they are. What environmental circumstance caused their eyes to adapt in the particular way […]
The question was one I’d never before considered: How would I characterize myself? Sidestepping thought, as I try to do as much as possible, I opened my heart and mouth to the voice of intuition. Out popped: “I’m a very gifted person.” Not gifted talented, but rather someone who has received many gifts. I
My beloved’s suicide plus 18 months. The word is not the thing, and all I can give you is words. Seemingly never-ending new depths in the ocean of surrender. Familiar after familiar revealed as ephemeral. Perhaps it’s a feeling one has as death of the body approaches. Only for me it isn’t
Buddha on the Compost Bin Read More »
Today I enter year 78. Sixteen months and a day after my beloved’s departure. Not three weeks in my new home. Last night I was guided to watch “This is It,” the documentary of the three-month rehearsal of what was to be the capstone tour of Michael Jackson’s career, which of course didn’t occur because
I Won’t Be Surprised Read More »
I felt a small bug crawling on my back inside my t-shirt. Tick, I feared, whipping an arm over my shoulder. Only one finger could reach far enough to extract the creature expediently. A procedure it did not survive. Turns out it was a ladybug. I apologized that my lack of composure led to
The Universe Also Winks Read More »
A friend is helping me “re-home” many belongings as I dramatically downsize the physical accouterments of my life in preparation for taking up residence in the new tiny monastery the bank and I jointly own. Among them is the first real bed my beloved and I purchased over 40 years ago. At that time, it
Dead but not Absent Read More »
I don’t schedule much in the morning because it takes me a while to get up to speed. Meditation, journaling, stretching and strengthening, wandering with the dogs, time with whatever two cents I’m writing. And while I try not to get sidetracked, I also want to stay open to whatever surprises the universe is itching
Blueberries Help Me Die Read More »
For more than six months I had been anticipating that I would be leaving Vermont after living here for 27 years, roughly a third of my life in the only place I’ve ever considered home. My beloved and I arrived on Halloween 1993. For the sake of a good story, I planned to officially