What does it take to be sober a long time? Easy. Don’t drink, don’t die. Which is to say, longevity in sobriety––29 years for me––is not necessarily much of an accomplishment. It’s not nothing. But it isn’t joy. “No recovering alcoholic dies happy because they stopped drinking,” my sponsor Pete told me way back when.
I’m sailing into the unknown. I’ve been here before. I’m probably here all the time. In some moments grace just takes a bit more work. Meeting new levels of depth in the ongoing discovery of my role in this incarnation. The thrill of anticipation coupled with the void of mystery. The death of what is
A young woman my wife and I adore––and have known for some 30 years––came to call with her two year-old daughter. The four of us had not been together since soon after her daughter’s birth. On the day before their surprise visit, I happened upon an anecdote that set me wondering what it would feel
At a recent AA meeting, the topic of discussion was: Why do we keep coming to meetings? Answers beyond the obvious I don’t want to drink take some reflection. At least for me, sober since ’89. My natural inclination nowadays, when presented with such a question, is to feel that the universe is asking me
It was a special NPR evening talk show. The topic was the emerging change in relationships between men and women. This in the light of the surge of new and deeper revelations of systemic sexism that color those relationships. This particular show was about men. One of the guests was a fellow who had spent
When I was 25, working as a news announcer for one of Boston’s major radio and television stations, a woman who’d recently graduated from college joined our ranks. She worked in the newsroom, as did I. She was African-American. We became sweethearts for a few years. Somewhere along the way she said to me that
For a long time I’ve been struck by how the word “smart” and any of its many synonyms is considered such a revered accolade. What can you call someone other than maybe saint that connotes a quality as desirable? Yet, I find so widely true Thoreau’s observation: the mass of men lead lives of quiet
You never know what is enough unless you know what is more than enough. That sentiment by English poet and painter William Blake [1757-1827] has been a source of great comfort for me. I’ve also heard it as: “The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom.” I can’t say I live in the